Nuggets from the Urdu press

These nuggets are culled from the Urdu press. They are summarised here without comment. Absurd or ridiculous, tft takes no responsibility for them. Illustrations by Saadia Gardezi

Nuggets from the Urdu press

Actor Anwar Ali robbed twice in November


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According to Nai Baat (December 2, 2014), November was unlucky (bhari raha) for famous TV and theater actor Anwar Ali, whose house was robbed while he was in hospital for an eye surgery, and then his car was stolen. He has lost his entire life’s savings.

Actresses banned for vulgar dance and outfits


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Reported in Dunya (December 2, 2014) a theater actress in Faisalabad was banned for two weeks because her dance was vulgar. Two others were banned for wearing outfits for which they had not sought prior approval.

‘Computers have ruined music’


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Quoted in Dunya (December 3, 2014) famous singer Tarannum Naz says new singers have ruined the art of music (bairra ghark). People make songs on computers and claim to be singers.

Gang stole 60 cellphones from Imran Khan rally


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Reported in Jang (December 3, 2014) Police have busted a gang in Lahore that had stolen more than 60 mobile phones at Imran Khan’s rally in Islamabad on November 30.

Famous dancer Deedar robbed in Liberty Market 


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Reported in Nai Baat (December 4, 2014) famous dancer Deedar was robbed in Lahore’s Liberty Market. Two men on a motorcycle took two mobile phones and her purse at gunpoint and fled.

Uninvited guests kicked out of President’s dinner 


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According to Dunya (December 4, 2014) four people were kicked out of a lunch hosted by the president for Asian parliamentarians at the Governor’s House in Lahore because they had not been invited (bin bulaye mehmano ki tarah). They managed to get in despite high security.

Lawyer throws a book at judge after argument 


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Express reports (December 5, 2014) a lawyer arguing a case in a civil judge’s courtroom threw a book at him after a quarrel (talkh kalami). People standing nearby intervened (beech bachao karaya). Civil judges went on strike.

Thief on Metro Bus 


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A woman on a Metro Bus in Lahore quietly opened the zippers of a fellow passenger’s purse and was taking out her wallet when she was caught, reports Jang (December 5, 2014). The were prize bonds worth Rs 100,000 in the wallet.

Parliamentarians charged with drunk and disorderly behavior 


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Reported in Jang (December 6, 2014), four parliamentarians were charged with drunk and disorderly behavior (sharaab kay nashay main ghul ghaparra) and beating up a policeman. They were having a barbecue party when the cop arrived in response to a complaint on 15 and asked them to turn down the music. Police have not found any witnesses to the presence of women at the party so far.

Jamshed Dasti’s bounty on Modi and Obama’s heads


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Quoted in Nai Baat (December 6, 2014) Jamshed Dasti tells a religious gathering in Lahore that the bounty on Narendra Modi and Barack Obama’s heads is a ticket to paradise.

Fistfight outside election tribunal


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Nawa-e-Waqt reports (December 7, 2014) when Imran Khan arrived at an election tribunal hearing in Lahore, the followers of PTI and PML-N began to fight (gutham gutha). Police had to intervene and push them apart.

India mistakes planets for Chinese drones


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According to Nawa-e-Waqt (December 7, 2014) senior officers of the Indian military were told that Chinese drones were violating Indian air space at night. But the lights that were being seen turned out to be Jupiter and Saturn.