Nuggets from the Urdu press

These nuggets are culled from the Urdu press. They are summarised here without comment. Absurd or ridiculous, tft takes no responsibility for them.

Nuggets from the Urdu press

Drunken traffic warden runs amok 


Reported in Dunya (September 17, 2015) a drunken traffic warden ran amok in Lahore, firing his gun blindly (andha dhund), spreading fear in the neighborhood (khauf-o-hiras). One of his bullets killed a pet dog.

Black sheep


According to Express (September 17, 2015) police arrested a cattle trader in Karachi for fraud after people complained he was selling goats with dentures.  They seized 25 goats with dentures from him.

What’s cooking at PIA?


Jang reports (September 18, 2015) a Senate committee was surprised when PIA gave them a list of delicious food they serve on their flights (mazay mazay kay khanay). The chairman of the committee said every time he flew PIA, he was only given stale bread. The menu might belong to some other airline. The PIA officials did not respond (chup saadh lee).

Angry women ransack Wapda office


A group of angry baton-wielding women attacked a Wapda office in Sukkur and broke the furniture and the motorcycles parked outside with sticks (danday barsati rahi), after a power transformer in their area was not fixed for six months, reports Nawa-e-Waqt (September 18, 2015). Some of the staff fled the scene (faraar) while others locked themselves in rooms.

Fake bank used beautiful women to entice clients


Reported in Dunya (September 19, 2015) FIA sealed a fake branch of a private bank in Sahiwal. The bank had been open for two weeks and its permits and documents were all fake. They use beautiful women (khoobru khwateen) to entice people into opening accounts.

PML-N castoffs turn to army chief posters 


According to Nawa-e-Waqt (September 19, 2015) some independent candidates who were not given PML-N tickets for the upcoming local council elections have put up pictures of Gen Raheel Sharif on their posters.

Pakistan’s first woman truck driver 


Shamim Akhtar, a 53-year-old woman from Rawalpindi, has become Pakistan’s first female truck driver, Express reports (September 20, 2015). Her first trip was from Rawalpindi to Azad Kashmir with 7,000 bricks.

NAB’s checks to Sindh government bounce


Jang reports (September 20, 2015) the National Accountability Bureau gave the Sindh government two checks of Rs 15,135,000 in plea bargain money, but when they were taken to the bank, they both bounced.

Local council candidate told he is dead


According to Dunya (September 21, 2015) the nomination papers of a local council candidate in Jacobabad were rejected because the voter list and other records said he was dead.

Long arm of outlaws reaches clock tower in Sukkur


Reported in Nawa-e-Waqt (September 22, 2015) all four of the clocks on the 80-year-old clock tower in Sukkur have been stolen one by one. Nobody saw the thieves who took the two-foot-wide clocks from the 90-foot-high tower, and the town administration was negligent (khwab-e-ghaflat main).